December 14th. It’s a crazy special, crazy emotional and crazy always sunshiny day…well at least for the last 8 years it has been. I remember walking into the hospital December 14, 2011 and seeing the gorgeous sunshine and just knowing like that life would be ok. Eight years ago we met our sweet boy Reid. And we were met with our worst nightmare. Our boy was so sick and they didn’t know why or how to fix it. Eight years later and we still don’t know why or how it could have been fixed.
Our sweet, precious Reid. I want you to know that you live on everyday. I see you in your brother…I imagine you probably would have made me just as gray as he has. I see you in the way your sister remembers your spirit and talks freely about you. I see you in the breeze…in those moments I just need you there and you show me that you are and that you’re ok. I see you in the way your beautiful rose bush blooms at your birthday every year…you know that one that lived in a broken pot and some how still survived?? Although your sweet story has brought immense pain it has also brought immense joy.
We celebrate you and your short but powerful life. You made a bigger impact in 4 days then some make in a lifetime. Reid, you humbled us and showed us how to find peace. How to trust in God. You gave us such great gifts in short time.
We try to live more…try to show greater love…we try to remember that tomorrow isn’t promised so today is what we get. We aren’t always perfect but I hope you’re proud of your family. We are happy and although that tiny little hole in our hearts will always be with us we work each day to see the beauty that is this life and our story. Our family has had great loss the last few years but some how you remind me of the great things that can come from this. You remind us to live and to laugh and to love. To be grateful for life. Thank you sweet boy for never leaving us. Thank you for showing us love. Happy 8th birthday sweet baby Reid. We love you forever and always.
To all of my family and friends who have lost…Please know we are praying and we are here. Please know that life has a way of getting different after loss… Allow yourself all the time you need to process your loss and know that somedays will feel like you’re stepping backwards. But you will find joy again and you will find life again. And it will find a way to bring beauty and magic to your days.
Each year I write for Reid’s birthday. It’s healing to me. If you would like to read previous years you can check these out…..7, 6, 5, 4. If you are struggling with infant loss yourself h.e.a.l. helped us so very much to process and cope with our grief.